Bad

Came back from an outdoor movie, which in itself was a good experience. Although it only helped to further reinforce the pigishness of men. The movie was about a prick, to say the least. A man who keeps his family on the side for some unforesaken reason-perhaps to put on a show and throw off the cops as to reveal his career choice. He is abusive both physically and emotionally, and his wife almost equally the same. A perfect match. Speaking of which..

Tonight I have come to realize that I am not in a relationship at all (if it wasn't obvious before). It disappoints me, actually, it pisses me off to be quite honest, to be so closely linked to such a selfish person. I am exhausted and tired of giving all the time. This is not a relationship in that it has always been one side gives and the other takes, always asking for more. Oh yes, and I love our new world's colloquial habit of brushing off insensitive, jackass comments as merely being a joke. It saves every face. That is not love, and really, to pass it off as such taints the word. I don't mind sleeping alone, in fact I prefer it to sleeping with a selfish jerk. I know now, for a fact, (or anything that comes close to it statistically speaking) that it is not love if this thing has turned me into such a spiteful, angry person. But I would rather be alone than be with someone who would destroy my moral. There is nothing confusing about that.