Frames of reference

Do not infer or assume but read word for word. Simple meanings are apparently more easily misconstrued than I thought.

On issues with recall: time periods, emotionally charged words over neutral, sequence of events.

At this age I did not think I'd find myself icing my eyes the morning after. Since when did the victim become the abuser. It may be cliche but the world certainly does not care about what's fair. I am too frustrated to be angry but at this point I don't care anymore. I am tired of 'abusing' this person any longer but need his permission to leave. No one has ever hurt me as much as this has. And it is not fair for skewed perceptions to preside and make me out to be the bad guy. I do not deserve this and at one point, out of sheer frustration, wanted to fish out his ex for them to get back together so that his mother would be happy. Because his happiness is worth more than mine and I suppose that's understandable since we are neither flesh nor blood.

But the injustice of it all. Who cared when I cried and got hurt. My family, most certainly, and of course friends. Yet his family and friends accuse me of isolating, destroying his life. I most certainly did not point a gun and shout orders. I did not expect or want things to always go my way. What I expected was quite simple-consistency. If you're going to promise something, then follow through. But that should hold true for any relationship, not just the romantic. I wanted to scream out of frustration. stop harassing, abusive Such harsh words caught me off guard. So, this is far from a healthy relationship. Then why stay? I haven't forced the idea of trying to make things work for a year and a half now. Gave up after he toyed with the idea of going to Guam immediately after a year in Japan. Amazing how important I was to him at the time. I don't consider myself that important, but perhaps he should have made a more conscious effort to be with me. And he has and that has made me incredibly happy so I don't understand where the confusion is when I am accused of being abusive. When you promise your long distance significant other that you will see them and decide to flake last minute I would assume that some disappointment is in order. I am human after all.

Yet I am accused of not being nice, of forcing him to alienate himself (didn't I tell him to go out New Year's?) and move. I have not done any of the above. Granted, there were two occasions in which I explicitly said that I needed to see him and that was only because the aforementioned had stated that he would days before. Everyone has a bad day. Those with significant others often have the luxury of spending time with said person to unwind and recover from the day's tribulations. And yet I am accused of being abusive and controlling when I have been promised time and then denied it last minute. I don't even know or care about what to do to resolve this issue anymore.

Lesson of the day: don't get into a relationship where communication is a problem and the other person's family will inflict harm upon your health should a misunderstanding arise.