Today was an average day. Nothing of particular importance happened but it did end with the feeling of having done something. Woke up early because I kept having the same, stupid, repeating dream. A song stuck on REPEAT. So decided to get some work done. Felt a little sleepy and didn't want to risk falling asleep in class so took a 30 minute nap. Kept turning off the alarm clock because the bed is so much more comfortable than the outside world. Finally got out the door 5 minutes before class started. Note: All of the first classes of the day for this quarter are at the far end of campus. Got there on time but all the seats were taken so sat on the floor (didn't mind but I hate sitting at the foot of this one guy who kept leering. Evolution seems to be a pretty interesting class, even though the professor was very young. It appears he's taught it 6 times before so I'll assume he knows what he's doing. Had a half hour break before the next class so went to see how the club tabling was coming along. It was nice to see friends again. Talked for a bit, heckled at potential new comers and headed off to class. All of the classes this quarter seem very full. Four people in my writing class were attempting to crash and were allowed to overfill the class cut off because they were all seniors and needed it to graduate (one even played the "I'll get deployed" card..stupid military people.
Ran home to get lunch before heading back to tabling. I've never thought about it before, but there is nothing quite as depressing as eating alone and ruminating. Fell asleep and it was supposed to be for only half an hour but I didn't want to leave just yet so ended up sleeping for an hour and a half. Biked to campus feeling worthless and as if I just wasted my entire day (a bit of an exaggeration of course)..it's a strange feeling, waking up and going back to the sleep in the middle of the day only to wake up again. It feels as if the day has already passed and you skipped right to Tomorrow but it's not a good feeling. I thought I'd forgotten something, or should have done something but didn't..
Went back to tabling and ended up just talking about food and random crap till less and less people were meandering around to harass so I took off for the lab. I think I'm on good terms with the grad student I'm working with now. Asked her about what type of solution I should use for staining the slides (over the phone) and she seemed surprised that I was coming back this quarter since a lot of people just work temporarily or something like that. Got that done and set up the slides to dry. Went to the office to see about that glassware washing position and I guess I need my passport..which is at home..and I had been home only 3 days ago. If only she hadn't gone on a 3 week vacation the day before spring break..So I'll have to find a way to get a hold of it or find a different job. Went home to start work only to realize it was time to go to judo. But I had promised I'd go to drive since 15 people were coming so I went. It was a good feeling, to get back into it. I'm glad I went. Taught some new comers how to fall, roll, pin, and a basic throw. I think I made some new friends. Afterwards we went to dinner which was incredibly overpriced and took forever for all of the orders to come out (as usual) but I guess it gave us time to socialize..about strip club girls in Vegas and other unmentionable things. I had no idea some guys would go through such lengths to try and get a girl. Lying about visiting a sick family member to gain sympathy is one of the most pathetic things I've heard as of yet.
Had to park my car really far away from the apt because there wasn't any parking that would fit my car (as usual). But I was lucky enough to have a friend drive me home. Came home to a naked man on my couch. I hate my life sometimes. Showered and got ready to do work as I hear them kissing and..stuff. I wish I had someone to do that with. I sometimes wonder if I would be better off on my own. I mean, if I lived alone and never had to see that crap when I'm forced to be alone already, I wonder if I'd be happier. A trained lab puppy replacing a hellraiser. But it is nice to have a roommate around. I'd probably go insane from the silence. I complain about the dog, but in a sad way I relate to her because she's always sitting there waiting for someone to come home. And more often than not, the person she's waiting for never comes but other people come and go constantly.
I find it frustrating and sad but true to believe that there are so few people who are willing to stick around without asking anything in return because they genuinely love you for you, because there's no one else out there quite like you and for no other reason. The world seems very selfish but I guess it has a right to be. In any event, there are people who reach out for no apparent reason so I guess that balances out the bad.
This whole situation has given me a constant headache..and I'm not sure what to do about it.
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