It's sprinkling outside

I guess I can be horribly reckless sometimes without meaning to. Like today, where I was cleaning out the garage and my mum had moved a bunch of her plumerias so they'd be out of the way and when I was done I closed the automatic garage door without a second thought..until the motion sensor made the door open again. I go over and look and two branches have broken off and there's sap spurting out like an open wound and the plant's sitting there bleeding like it's mocking me like it's saying haha look what you did mom's going to be mad. Well she was pretty torn about it and puttering around looking for stuff to make the sap stop running and I felt really guilty but when she's like this I can't really do anything to make it better.

In 3 days I'll be leaving. I'm excited of course, but just a little hesitant. I might just run my mouth or something along the lines of that simply because I think that if words are kept locked up, it will make you sick with regret from holding back what was meant to be said. I will be honest without any extents because if something is wrong or affecting me than it needs to be said. Call it woman's intuition or ESPN, whatever you call it. Even if it can't be proven, I think it exists because I've always been able to read people pretty well. Based on their actions or words or even a smile. It's silly but it might be a survival mechanisms because I can tell when people have malicious intent or if they had a troubled past. Similarly, I can read girls especially well..if they're dishonest or sleep around. I can tell it's a facade when they play the innocent card because I've known too many guys who fell for it. There are men too, who cheat and use women. Because I've known a few myself. People have told me not to go because in all likelihood I'll get used or end up getting hurt in other ways. I might seem naive at times but I'm not the sort to take abuse because I'm the one that leaves. Presently I get jealous from time to time because he's not here for me to voice my opinion or walk away. I respect people that much, that I wouldn't start a fight or finish a relationship online or though the phone. There won't be any intermediates because I'm not afraid of confronting people. Like that one time I was frustrated but there was nothing I could do because there was 7,856 miles between us and I couldn't tell certain girls to stay the fuck away from my boyfriend. I know they're bad people because good people don't exclude others or screw with other guys while their boyfriend's away. It takes a blind and deaf person to think otherwise. And an even worse person to compare me to one of them. I don't think I'll ever try this again. It's just too exhausting.

Disclaimer: My word vomits usually reflect the intensity of inthemoment rants; my rebound rate is and always will be a day at the very most. So I'll be cooled off by the time How the Grinch Stole Christmas is on tv or when I backhand other woman's whorish face, whichever one comes first.