Spring and a Storm

Mr Moon?

Yeah?

Tell us about the sky

The sky, is deep and dark and eternally high
Many people think that's where you go when you die

Do you?

Well I think you return to obscure
Or wherever you were
Before you were
But I won’t let you lose yourself
In the rain

It's silly and nonsensical, but just now I realized that I (we)'ll never be able to go back to those times. Hanging out and watching TV, listening to attempts at learning the guitar, FLCL in the background, Tally Hall, a year of complete confidence and comfort (?) with friends, lackadaisical and thinking it would all go one forever. Well, at least it went out with a bang.

So many memories I'd like to relive, but the more I think about them, the more they become less real, and it becomes more like trying to squeeze a handful of sand to keep it from escaping.

I wonder if I will ever come to miss the time spent right now... Probably not, seeing as I'm still caught up in last year. I'll still hope for the future, though.

Rewind.


Earlier, I was thinking about how I'm usually the one to be picked last..for kickball, reading groups in school, someone to talk to, or as a girlfriend. It kinda sucks when you're a second choice. A personified Merced. I guess I'm just not that special. Or maybe I am and just don't exude I don't know. I can't see the card stuck on my forehead.

Still, it kind of sickened me when I noticed that I'm not the first person to say his name in that way. And how he accepted it so easily. I'm just another person in line it seems.
Oh well, I am adamant to make this happy.