Today I got my first paycheck. It was made out to be $12.00. Granted I worked only two days last month since I applied near the end of the month, but still, it was a little disappointing. I know the work I do has no merit (at least for that which I am paid), but I worked very hard at my job. It made me understand how easy it is for people to resort to doing illegal things for large amounts of money whereas honorable lines of work yield very little reward.
When I was younger, my godmother gave me a Chicken Noodle Soup for ... books and I remember only reading the Love and Relationships sections. It was such a strange idea to me at the time, to find someone who would completely accept you and love you for who you are. It seemed almost magical. I never pictured myself in a relationship because I just couldn't picture myself in one. It just seemed like too much responsibility to keep someone happy and take care of them even when you can barely take care of yourself. So I thought to myself, I'll never be in a serious relationship (this terrified my mom-when I proposed that I'd never marry but would have a bunch of boyfriends for the rest of my life). I decided not to be selfish and go into a relationship if I didn't know if I could take care of it or devote time for this person. In my dreams the person I loved always had a grayed out face, like a censored person on TV. And yet here I am..people are strange..
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