In other news, I am currently eating deliciously amazing home made red bean ice cream. I would like to take a picture but am too preoccupied with spoon to mouth to take one. I have also lost one of my black bunny socks
In past news, there used to be a crazy cat man who lived behind my house. I had to walk past his house every time I walked the dogs and one day he got off his porch to yell at me for having an illegal leash (the retractable kind) because it exceeded four feet. He also threatened to report my dogs because they were aggressive to his cats-they're stupid cats so any dog would bark at them . I remember feeling shaken up because I was a good girl and I hated being told otherwise. A while after this incident, I walked my dogs by his house again and as I walked past it and back towards my house I noticed him start following me. He walked towards the end of the street and looked down the street I live on. There's no substantial evidence of course, but at the time I thought he was trying to see where I lived so I rounded the corner and got into the house the back way. When I recounted this incident to my mom I added that I had turned around and yelled at the man, 'stop following me!'. This never happened, of course and I wonder why I wanted so badly to prove to my mom that I was brave.
At another time during my childhood my mom asked me what I would do if someone tried to grab me. I said I'd punch him in the face and yell as to get people's attention. Later on, this actually happened to my mom and when she turned to me in quiet rage to tel me, I didn't say or do anything at all. I'll always regret that.
But back to the initial purpose of this post: I was told to write something nice. Well, I woke up today to fall asleep watching tv and woke up a second time feeling like a slob. I feel as though I am wasting time, being irresponsible and lazy and unemployed. Planned to do this and that but never got around to it, not even to walk the dog (which I finally did after dinner). Didn't get out of the house until then, come to think of it. Sunlight feels weird when you haven't been exposed to it for a while..
Spent a 4o minutes submitting resumes out to various employers after feeling guilty about staying at home and not doing anything.
On my wall there are pictures my cousin drew for me when she was 10 or 11. The pictures are both very colorful and the people are smiling in it. It's cruel that her father had to be taken away a few years later.
I also have a photograph of friends I made in high school, when we were in Tijuana building side walks and playgrounds for the schools over there. All friends I promised I'd keep in touch with but never did.
But I digress (a bit much)..
I promised to write something nice specifically about him. Well, earlier he texted me while I was at the gym to tell me that he'd be late coming back because of an interview he's conducting. To which I replied, 'meh'. I suppose I have become heartless. I don't know how, but somewhere along the road of struggles in college I began to believe that being heartless, jaded, insensitive is the only way to survive. I lost all of the please's and thank you's. The sentences stopped starting with 'the' or 'however' or 'they' and began to start with 'I'.
He also skyped me despite my being unnecessarily cruel to him about not bothering to call me later on since I may or may not be out.
He shows me puppy eyes and chubby belly because it makes me happy (yes, yes, the latter might be too much information and yet it's so necessary!).
I wake up and he's usually the first thing on my mind (every so often it's the bathroom, but hey, I'm only human).
He makes me feel all warm and soft and loved when he looks at me, and then he opens his mouth..(kidding).
He almost got me water bottles that came with filters. They *came* with filters-this made the hypochondriac/germophobe in me giggle with delight.
He is never afraid of holding back in words, or love and I'm still trying to do the same (for better or worse).
And yet, there is still the niggling thought of how he *must* have me play video games with him. Guys: are any of you out there *not* interested in video games? Let me ask..
He bought green candies for me, in addition to bringing to my attention the fact that I like any candy that's green. My goodness, that's so adorable I am currently vomiting rainbows down my front.
He brushes his teeth for me.
He can tell when I'm hurt but refuse to say it. And knows when I need a hug/attention in spite of my pushing him away (but also wisely knowing when to give me space).
He remembers food stuff-that is very, very important.
He makes me feel beautiful (although apparently I am now supposed to lose 8 pounds in order to fit into his criteria-darn you flabby thighs and belly!)
He's willing to sit, stand, and kneel in an uncomfortable pew for an hour with me once a week if that means it'll make me happy (it will).
He is serious (for the most part) about important relationship stuff. In all other life aspects he is a jellyfish and at this point I'm not sure if it should bother me anymore.
He makes me want to cuddle up with him and let all of the stress and tension seep into the ground.
He makes me want to look alive (light makeup, toned legs, the works).
He makes me want to appreciate myself more and not advertise my shortcomings (but for some reason he gets to do that..).
He makes me want to try recipes I've never tried before just so I can get an experience with him (chocolate layered cake with strawberries that didn't quite turn out like the cakes you see in Japan's bakery windows) and biscuits made from scratch (with the recipe from the baking powder container).
For some reason, he's the one who remembers all of the important dates and I have no problem with that.
No comments:
Post a Comment