So I've been told that I only write when I'm sad. ha. Although it's true that I use this as a vent, it's not as if I only write when I've had a bad day~I am only more motivated to do so on such day. This weekend: I was in a terrible mood everytime at judo and that made me disappointed in myself but I just couldn't help myself. Because whenever someone came in to pick me up for a throw, my stomach would cramp up and I just wanted to double over in pain. I was not in the mood to go, but I had promised and I wasn't willing to back down because of such a thing. I still feel bad for only doing things half way, though. So that would be Friday Saturday Sunday.
Friday night I stayed in and watched a movie I think. Saturday I was planning to go out with some good friends but my stomach started acting up again and I was just too comfortable in bed to move. Spent my Valentine's day doing judo and going out to dinner with friends. Had amazing ribs and molten chocolate lava cake (fudge filled cake with ice cream in a hard chocolate shell on top)..which I found out was a good cure for just about anything. Could have had someone by my side maybe walking at the beach to stargaze or go for an icecream sundae or cuddle on the couch watching cheesy horror flicks where the stupid teenagers get offed because they decided to do it outdoors but instead spent it staring at a computer screen.
Apparently he's pulling a D. Let me tell you about D. He's a pot head, incorrigible pervert, and one of the most unmotivated people I've ever met (blame it on the pot I suppose). Oh, and he's got raging yellow fever. Well one day D goes to Japan and they ask him to be a model..so now he thinks he's the shit.
I have no problem with models, but for people who are already self absorbed or self conscious or in need of reassurance that their bodies are ohmygod a gift from well, God, an offer to modeling just blows their ego out of the water. There was this one girl I knew in hs who often started a sentence with, "well, I'm a model." I always thought it was funny that she should have everyone know even when no one asked about anything that even related to it.
This little thought rant spurred on the dream I had, I think.
I'm walking along a beach in Hawaii with my significant other and we go to a daycare center to pick up our sensei's little boy. After we drop him off with his dad we go to a hotel lobby. The elevators are really strange-they're built into the walls, which fold like those collapsing tile toys and so you have to hang onto the edges. I asked my person to hold onto me because I had to fix my hair (otherwise it would get tangled in the contraption). But he didn't and I ended up falling into the lobby. When I finally get to the room, he's writing letters to a girl with whom he's having an affair. Fitting, since he's had a thing or fling or a whatever you wish to call it with her while he was still deciding whether or not he wanted me (eg. finger in mouth..I kinda want to do that, just to call it even but the thought of it grosses me out..maybe just a butt grab then?). I start to leave as he's protesting but I'm not going to hear it (honestly, who would?). And it fast forwards to me being happy with another man (who doesn't have a raging sickness for girls of a specific country or his own physical appearance). He wasn't as tall, but he was just as handsome and kind, apparently. I don't know, I looked happy with dream man. We had a kid toddling about so I guess it was a happy ending of sorts, except for the part where I got screwed over, but I always get over that kind of thing.
See? No being sad. Just semi sardonic.
Today I'll be watching anime, reading about all the ways bacteria can infiltrate our immune systems to kill us, and living the life of a pseudo single (what else do you call it when you're with someone but not really with them?
My hair looks like a fish tail and I kind of miss the days when my hair was short. But whenever I see girls with super long hair I wish my hair was down to my butt like that one summer.
It's funny, but it's true what they say-it really helps to cut your hair when you're trying to get over someone or something.
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