Random thoughts

Although, there are some perks to this pseudo single state..like not having to deal with the drunkenness. God, I hate people who can't hold their own, rely on alcohol to function, or use it as therapy.

I wonder what's worse..people who don't know anything but think they do or people who know quite a bit and use this to treat others condescendingly..but then again, there are only two types of interesting people in the world~those who know everything and those who know nothing at all (or so they say).

Happiness, to me, is contentment. A little while ago, (maybe 6 months ago) all was right in the world. I got to wake up next to the person I loved, went to fun classes, went out with friends, had an amazing roommate and 6 months later..I am now stuck in the daily grind while my significant other is out getting drunk with random people, including slutty girls who are just really good people because apparently they take care of drunks and they know another language and, um, they miss their family. Excellent. That was such a logical train of thought. So no, I wouldn't say that I'm particularly happy at the moment.

I wonder why some of the birds by the arbor have missing feet. They're birds. So they can fly right? I don't know why but I assumed these birds lost their feet in a freak baby stroller accident, but it was probably an infection or something.

I used to get sad when I missed him, but recently I'm more indifferent than anything..seeing as how he consistently chooses to hang out with half retarded, (full retarded?) girls who sleep around, drink way too much, (in other words, the party-type), rendering him not the person I fell in love with at all. So it's better to not care because then all of this stress is a wasted effort when I'm the only one who feels like this.

Thanksgiving=lots of good food, catching up with friends, and a fluffy cat to cuddle with.

I hope the train isn't delayed tomorrow..last time I came an hour early to get there on time because last time I was late the desk lady yelled at me, but then the train turned out to be delayed in LA for 3 hours. Oh yeah, this was on the way to my aunt's wedding..which I only just made it in time for the cake at the reception. And at the hotel, where he texted me..to tell me he was at a strip club..even thought it 'felt wrong'..

I look forward to fruit..lots and lots of stuff grown in the gardens..I miss going to sleep to the smell of gardenias and roses. Everything smells like pot or alcohol here because of the stoners/drunks.

I'll probably get a head start on these applications too, so I can make a future for myself. I was asked about family, well the one person I wanted to start one with left me, so maybe I'll just get a dog and work a lot. It's not about the money of course, just to get the feeling of fulfillment. Worse comes to worse I'll adopt, if I'm alone that is.

I didn't realize but there is such thing as too much of a good thing. Like these grapfruit gummies. Darn. They tasted like chewy happiness at first too.

Grad students are pretentious, pompous ass holes. But they really know how to party.

I want to get a manicure but I probably wouldn't be able to deal with the upkeep..first of all I use my hands too much in work and then I never was the girly type of girl. Used to putter around in the backyard and by the river looking for adventures with my little brother and dogs rather than playing with dolls inside..

It's probably considered horrible, but I like the feeling of being pretty and getting the look but exuding the confidence to say you can't have this not just because I'm taken, but because I know how relationships are, and they are an absolute pain in the ass. Eye candy isn't worth the effort.

I miss my family and where feeling loved doesn't cost a thing. I really want to be home right now.